Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Yiyi Ge's Portfolio


Cover Letter

Dear Reader:

As a fresh international student, I don’t have much experience in English writing. In my first semester at CSUN, I wrote three essays in ENGL 113 A class with my professor’s help. I chose the two essays that best reflect my improvement in writing, my experience as an international student and my career goals: “Learning from Reading” and “The Use of Rhetorical Strategies in iPhone 5 Trailer”.

“Learning from Reading” shows my experience of studying. I was a spoiled child and reading changes me. After setting up a goal of studying, I began to work on English. It is not easy to achieve my target, but I made it. I am now becoming a student in CSUN and I can catch up with the local students in my. Nevertheless, it stills a lone way to go for me on English study and it is endless. I got a serious cold when I work on this. It last about three weeks and it was killing me! I had to stay in bed so I had some absents and missed some workshops. Those makes the process of carrying out this essay even harder.

The second essay is about an advertisement of the iPhone 5. I have changed my major to marketing when I arrived at America, because American has the world best marketing in either academic or practice, especially the Apple Inc. The main point of marketing is communication and I have learned the rhetorical strategies—logos, pathos and ethos—in the class. Analysis the trailer of iPhone 5 helped me understood the applying of those rhetorical strategies, so I put these analysis in my portfolio.

To be honest, I had many mistakes in these two essays unintentionally. After we had a workshop with my classmates and I modified my essay with professor’s help, I corrected some of the mistakes and made revisions. I changed the order of some paragraphs because they were not in the right place. Writing is probably the hardest part in learning English. Every time, I had to first translate the topic in Chinese—my first language—when I tried to write something, and then think of the topic and find evidences to support my opinion in Chinese before translating my thoughts into English and typing them in essay. I learned the skills and rules of writing a good essay from the course during this semester and used them in my essays. I can feel the significant improvements of my writing skill via my essays. Even though my writing is not good enough to get a grade of A, at least now I can easily express my feelings and describe my experiences in English. Most of the time I can show my ideas clearly in Chinese but I just cannot express myself in English. It was hard for me to give expressions in the foreign language. In my essays, arguments and thesis cannot be conveyed correctly sometimes even though the essay has strong supportive evidence.

I worked very hard on all the essays and I did do my best to get my idea across and to make my essays satisfactory. However, I know my essays are still not perfect. All I need to do to develop my writing skill is to practice more and read more in English. I will absolutely do that continuously in the future. Thank you for taking your time on read this letter and my essays.

Sincerely,

Rachel Yiyi Ge




Essay #1 --Progression 3

Rachel Yiyi Ge
Kitty Nard
English 113 A
14 November 2012
Learning from Reading
There is a proverb: “One is never too old to learn”. Learning is a thing that people can never stop for the whole life. It makes people knowledgeable, brilliant and confident. Reading is one of the easiest methods to earn knowledge. Reading requires courage, self-discipline, creativity, and persistence for me. I was born in a literary family so reading became a habit for me since I was very young. Personally, reading helps me a lot in my life.
Reading enhanced my personality. I am the only child of my family so my parents spoiled me. I used to be selfish: I never shared food or toys with other kids, I took things from my grandpa without saying thanks, I was rude to my parents when I was not satisfied. Things were changed when I got my first book from my mom on my six- year-old birthday—The Book of Virtues, written by William J. Bennett. I have read thousand of books in my childhood, this one is not my favorite but it is the one that influenced me the most. Everyone recognizes these traits as essentials of good character: Responsibility, Courage, Compassion, Honesty, Friendship, Persistence and Faith. This book contains hundreds of stories to instructing and inspiring anthology that will help me understand and develop those characters. It also provides examples of good and bad, right and wrong so that I develop such traits in great works of literature and exemplary stories from history. It is my initiatory book, which I could get the sources of the ideals by which I wish to live my life. 
Reading lets me know about myself and helps me to figure out what kind of life I want to create. After I entered high school, I felt like I could do everything like an adult but actually I was not mature enough to be responsible for myself. Then I started to feel confused about the definition of growing up. Meanwhile, I have read a poem named Growing Up, which written by Cheng Gu, a famous Chinese poet in the 70s. In the poem, he stated that the landmark of growing up is neither entering high school nor writing an essay in a foreign language. The most remarkable milestone of growing up is knowing your goal of your future and taking the responsibility of yourself. This really means a lot to me in my whole life. From his poem, I noticed that life is short and limited, no one can make his or her life longer, but one can make his or her life wider by experience more different cultures. That was why I set up a goal of studying abroad when I was 16. There were two options for me: studying abroad or finish my college in China. And the reality is that I was not born in a rich family so it is not easy for my parents to support me to study abroad. But, if I finished my college in 3 years, I can get a job in my mom’s company easily. It seems that I can get a stabile job and live comfortably in the future in China. But this is NOT what I wanted. I did many researches about studying abroad and started to improve my English. Firstly, I attended an IELTS training school. I have to provide my IELTS score to apply for entering CSUN and it requires a limitation of 5.5 out of 9 for international students to be admitted without engaged the international English program (IEP). To motivate myself and achieve my goal, I wrote myself a diary as a reminder. Every time when I felt tired for catching on my dream, I read that diary again and again and then put myself back to study. I took my exam on 19th February 2012. It was just after the Chinese New Year. All my families were gathering together to celebrate the big festival at our hometown: Anqing. But I did not join them; I preferred to go back to Beijing to study alone at school. Everyday I woke up at 7 o’clock in the morning and stay at the library for the whole day until it closed at 9 o’clock in the night. I did thousands of exercises and read a lot of related books to get fully prepared. After I took the exam, I feel relaxed. I was filled with confidence because I worked very hard on preparing the exam. The result came out at 29th February 2012 and I was very happy:  I got 6 out of 9. I sent my transcript and all the files to the admission and record office of CSUN and received my offer.
Reading also helps me on learning English especially on my writing skills. English became the biggest challenge to me after I made the decision of studying abroad. As the matter in fact, writing is the most difficult part for all international students not only for me. I can write very well in my native language—because I have read thousands of books in Chinese and I can easily find arguments and evidences to support my opinion.  But it is really hard for me to write in English. In order to enhance my writing skill, I began to read English articles since I recognize my weakness in writing. One of the hardest writing experiences during my college: it was the first English essay I had written when I was a freshman. It was an investment project and I have sent thousands of emails to gathering useful data and it took me almost 3 moths to finish the project. There are difficulties everywhere: I had to translate all my thoughts and knowledge into English and I had collected a lot of data but I didn’t know how to start my essay or how to arrang all the data together. To carry out the project, I have read a lot of economic magazines and newspapers and I even invented a writing process for myself. I made myself a list to organize the contents of my project. It was a hard time. But I got the highest score in my class due to my continuously hard working.
Reading changes my life and how it helped during my study life. It really has a lot of advantages—Reading can make me smart and wise: I have learnt so many things from reading. And reading helps me a lot when I wrote: I can easily find arguments and evidences to support my opinion. Nevertheless, I am keep on reading more article and gain knowledge to make myself more wisdom and become a spiritual warrior. 



Essay #2 --Progression 2


Rachel Yiyi Ge
Kitty Nard
English 113 A
15 October 2012
The Use of Rhetorical Strategies in iPhone 5 Trailer
Apple is granted as one of the greatest companies in the world for their brilliant marketing strategies. As it is said, the heart of marketing is communication, which is based on rhetorical strategies: logos, pathos and ethos. Logos means logic, facts, reasons and rationalities—the authors must be thoughtful, providing good reasons and supportive evidences to persuade the audience that their ideas are valid, or rather, more valid then anyone else. Pathos is emotion, sense, memory and common experience—communicators need to let people feel the same way as themselves, or rather, more likely to say ”me, too!” Ethos is credibility, quote, authority and judgment from professionals—speakers should be considerate, trustworthy, knowledgeable or fair. In the official trailer of iPhone 5, all of these three elements are cunningly utilized in combination, presenting an incredible performance to the audience.
Rhetoric is an art, which people use to process the message we send and receive. The main purpose of the official trailer of iPhone 5 is to convince people to buy them. In order to achieve that, the speakers—Apple’s salesmen—must know the demand of their clients. In the beginning of the advertisement, Jony Ive, the Senior Vice President from the design department, gave a speech to arouse people’s interest to reflect on their relationship with their iPhones: “When you think about your iPhone, it’s probably the object that you use the most in your life. It’s the product that you have with you all the time. With its unique relationship people have with their individual iPhone, we take changing it really seriously.” He pointed out that people have always spent a lot of time with their iPhones, texting to each other, posting status updates on their Facebook or Twitter accounts, checking Emails, reading books or news and playing games with friends. To most iPhone users, who may pay more attention on the new iPhone, he was just picturing their daily life. It seems that Ive was talking about the facts that could be considered as Logos, or he was using Ethos because he is an expert in designing iPhone. However, it is neither. He was using Pathos, which could talk audience into themselves and feel in the same way.
Ive then talked about the changes they made on the new iPhone, ”It has been completely re-designed. For the first assignment ever, we have increase the size of the display. By making the screen taller than not wider, you can see more of your content for still comfortably use it with one hand. And yet even with the larger display, iPhone 5 is the thinnest lightest iPhone we have ever made. ” For some people, they take their iPhone with them all the time, so they absolutely want it shaped more comfortable for them to hold by one hand. He just caters to their demand greatly! And the video begun to show the audience the new features of the iPhone 5: larger screen, thinner and lighter body, new shape that is easier to hold in one hand, etc. Even though it’s not very specific but it still could be recognized as logos.
 A second speech was given by Bob Mansfield, the Senior Vice President of Apple Company. He focused more on the specific details of the new iPhone. As a professor, he explained the new features of the iPhone 5. He was trying to show the audience his knowledge of the new iPhone 5 by giving detailed facts and features. “18% thinner”, 20% lighter”, “LTE—faster speed of downloading”, “LTE& CDMA chip plus A6 chip—two times faster then the old iPhone”, “new cover glass”, etc. These technical facts support Mansfield’s opinion: the iPhone 5 is “the best product we have ever made.” and he even called the new iPhone an “invention”—that could be defined as pathos. In this part of the official trailer of iPhone 5, Bob Mansfield was using logos most, and, because he is an expert, there was a little bit ethos.
The iPhone users are not only interested in hardware, but also pay close attention to the software, too. Therefore, the video followed started to introduce their changes in software. Scott Forstall, the Senior Vice President from iPhone software department, was giving a speech about the awesome software that the new iPhone 5 has with it. He mentioned their new 3D map in the new iPhone. “You can look at things like fly-over” he was using his own feeling of using the 3D map so this is considered as pathos. He also introduced some other highlighted features: turn by turn spoken direction could bring you to your destination easily; the panorama feature could help you get panoramic photos by only use your iPhone; Siri could do more—finding place to eat and even make a reservation; built-in Facebook and facetime over cellular data networking, etc. All the information above delivered the message that iPhone 5’s software is brilliant and amazing. These are examples of logos. Besides, as Scott Forstall is the Senior Vice President, there was ethos used in his speech.
At the end of the video, Jony Ive showed up again. This time he was using logos mostly to let the audience know how great the new iPhone 5 looks. The video showed the procedures of making an iPhone 5. They used diamond-cutting technique to processing the surface and brand new material on their product. These were absolutely logos because of the features and facts of this amazing product.
An advertisement is not only to offer information about the product but also to persuade the audience to buy the product. To achieve this target, the salesmen must know their audience’s demand. Using rhetorical strategies can help them reach their goal much more easily. In the official trailer of iPhone 5, the speakers are very smart. All of them are experts in their career. They were showing the new features of their production and talking about their own experiences or ideas on using the new iPhone 5. It seemed that they were just talking about the facts of life with an iPhone, but it was not. They used all the three rhetorical strategies—ethos, pathos and logos in combination.
In fact, rhetorical strategies are widely used in people’s daily lives, in advertisement, conversations, and even in body languages and films. It can be used in any situation, whether you are watching a film or an advertisement. Most time people just use rhetorical strategies unconsciously, without realizing that rhetoric can help them reach their goal easier. Rhetoric is an art of communication; it can increase their efficiency of conveying their thoughts and ideas to the audience. Rhetoric is just around us. Therefore, it is really important to know how rhetorical strategies work on us.

                                                                  Work Cited
TouchGamePlay. “The Official iPhone Five Trailer”. Youtube.com. TouchGamePlay, 2012. Web. 12 September 2012. <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5X5cV-4LRo>.


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